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Post by fordlord on Feb 24, 2010 0:13:55 GMT -5
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"
"It's for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He replies, "Gotcha!"
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Post by fordlord on Feb 24, 2010 0:17:51 GMT -5
Did you know that the word race car spelled backward says "racecar". That eat is the only word taht if you take the 1st letter and move it to the the last, it spells it's past tense "ate". And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells out " F#ck off and go home you free-loading, benifit grabbing, kid producing, violent, non-english speaking cocksuckers and take those hairy faced, sandel wearing, bomb making, goat f#cking, smelly rag head b@stards with you," HOW WIERD IS THAT? thats frickin hilarious there!!!lmao ;D how about this one.......They finally released the ingredients in Viagra! 3% Vitamin E, 2% Aspirin, 2% Ibuprofen, 1% Vitamin C, 5% Spray Starch, 87% Fix-A-Flat.
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Post by 307ci on Feb 24, 2010 0:20:12 GMT -5
Little Johnny walks in the bedroom and dad has mom bent over goin at it. Dad winks at Johnny and Johnny leaves. Dad thinks he better go talk to Johnny. After lookin throught the whole house dad finds Johnny upstairs with grandma bent over puttin it to her hard. Dad flips out. What the he!! are you doin? Johnny winks and says.... not so funny when its your mom huh?
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Post by hardhitinu on Feb 24, 2010 0:34:16 GMT -5
Little Johnny walks in the bedroom and dad has mom bent over goin at it. Dad winks at Johnny and Johnny leaves. Dad thinks he better go talk to Johnny. After lookin throught the whole house dad finds Johnny upstairs with grandma bent over puttin it to her hard. Dad flips out. What the he!! are you doin? Johnny winks and says.... not so funny when its your mom huh? hahaha that funny I had a joke to put on but I cann't remember it now its on the tip of my tongue though
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Post by hardhitinu on Feb 24, 2010 0:39:23 GMT -5
heres a pretty stupid one you've got a male potato chip and a female potato chip the male potato chip says to the female potato chip "Hi I'm WISE are you fretolay" heard that when I was about 12yrs old.
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Post by fordlord on Feb 24, 2010 0:47:09 GMT -5
some funny bumper stickers......
“I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. ”
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling […]
“Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.”
“How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?”
“Cover me. I’m changing lanes.”
You have the right to remain silent….Anything you say will be misquoted, then used
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
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Post by fordlord on Feb 24, 2010 0:50:03 GMT -5
heres a pretty stupid one you've got a male potato chip and a female potato chip the male potato chip says to the female potato chip "Hi I'm WISE are you fretolay" heard that when I was about 12yrs old. i heard the one that says......a ever-ready battery meets the female potato chip and says...i'm ever- ready and your freeto-lay
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Post by cursed69 on Feb 24, 2010 21:58:43 GMT -5
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A Mega-Sore-a$$
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Post by cursed69 on Feb 24, 2010 21:59:50 GMT -5
what is the difference between sin and shame?
It is a sin to put it in but its a shame to pull it out. ;D
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Post by cursed69 on Feb 24, 2010 22:03:10 GMT -5
A blonde wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a handyman type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge? The blonde said, How about 50 dollars? The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house? The man replied, She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. You're finished already? he asked. Yes, the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. And by the way,the blonde added, that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari
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Post by cursed69 on Feb 24, 2010 22:05:21 GMT -5
why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head.
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Post by cursed69 on Feb 24, 2010 22:06:51 GMT -5
what does a man and a car have in common?
They both have the ability to misfire.
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Post by fordlord on Feb 25, 2010 1:32:48 GMT -5
Whats the difference between a hockey team and a Mexican prostitute? The hockey team showers after 3 periods!! ;D ;D
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Post by pipesrmylife on Feb 25, 2010 11:03:03 GMT -5
;D
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Post by cursed69 on Feb 25, 2010 22:41:52 GMT -5
That is the funniest picture ever ha
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